| Abbott: |
|
Strange as
it may seem, they give ball players
nowadays very peculiar names. |
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|
|
| Costello: |
|
Funny
names? |
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|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Nicknames,
nicknames. Now, on the St. Louis team we
have Who's on first, What's on second, I
Don't know is on third- |
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|
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| Costello: |
|
That's what
I want to find out. I want you to tell me
the fellows on the St. Louis team. |
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|
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| Abbott: |
|
I'm telling
you. Who's on first, What's on second, I
Don't Know is on third- |
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|
|
| Costello: |
|
You know
the fellows' names? |
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|
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| Abbott: |
|
Yes. |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
Well, then
who's playing first? |
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|
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| Abbott: |
|
Yes. |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
I mean the
fellow's name on the first base. |
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|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Who. |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
The fellow
playin' first base. |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Who. |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
The guy on
first base. |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Who is on
first. |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
Well, what
are you askin' me for? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
I'm not
asking you - I'm telling you. Who is on
first. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
I'm asking
you - who's on first? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
That's the
man's name. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
That's
who's name? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Yes. |
|
| |
| ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ |
| |
| Costello: |
|
When you
pay off the first baseman every month,
who gets the money? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Every
dollar of it. And why not, the man's
entitled to it. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
Who is? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Yes. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
So who gets
it? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Why
shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes
down and collects it. |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
Who's wife? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Yes. After
all, the man earns it. |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
Who does? |
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|
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| Abbott: |
|
Absolutely. |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
Well, all
I'm trying to find out is what's the
guy's name on first base? |
| |
|
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| Abbott: |
|
Oh, no, no.
What is on second base. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
I'm not
asking you who's on second. |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Who's on
first! |
|
| |
| ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ |
| |
| Costello: |
|
St. Louis
has a good outfield? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Oh,
absolutely. |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
The left
fielder's name? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Why. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
I don't
know, I just thought I'd ask. |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Well, I
just thought I'd tell you. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
Then tell
me who's playing left field? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Who's
playing first. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
Stay out of
the infield! The left fielder's name? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Why? |
| |
|
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| Costello: |
|
Because. |
| |
|
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| Abbott: |
|
Oh, he's
center field. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
Wait a
minute. You got a pitcher on the team? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Wouldn't
this be a fine team without a pitcher? |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
Tell me the
pitcher's name. |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Tomorrow. |
|
| |
| ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ |
| |
| Costello: |
|
Now, when
the guy at bat bunts the ball - me being
a good catcher - I want to throw the guy
out at first base, so I pick up the ball
and throw it to who? |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Now, that's
the first thing you've said right. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
I DON'T
EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Don't get
excited! Take it easy. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
I throw the
ball to first base, whoever it is grabs
the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who
picks up the ball and throws it to what.
What throws it to I don't know. I don't
know throws it back to tomorrow - a
triple play. |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Yeah, it
could be. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
Another guy
gets up and it's a long ball to center |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Because. |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
Why? I
don't know. And I don't care. |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
What was
that? |
| |
|
|
| Costello: |
|
I said I
DON'T CARE! |
| |
|
|
| Abbott: |
|
Oh, that's
our shortstop! |
|
|
